“What Does It Even Mean to Deny Myself?”

A real talk devotional for the spiritually curious

Hey, I don’t know where you’re at with faith right now.

Maybe you believe in God, maybe you don’t. Maybe you used to. Maybe you’ve been hurt by religion or you’re just not sure what all of this really means. That’s totally okay—I’m not here to sell you anything or scare you into some belief system. I just want to share something that’s been hitting me deeply: this idea of “denying yourself.”

It sounds intense at first, right? Like, why would anyone want to deny themselves? Don’t we spend most of our lives trying to find ourselves?

But hear me out.

 Let Me Hit You With a Quick Analogy

Imagine your life is like driving a car.

From the moment you were old enough to think for yourself, you’ve been behind the wheel. You pick the destination. You take the turns. You decide when to speed up, slow down, stop, or go. Sometimes you take the scenic route, sometimes you get lost. And sometimes… let’s be real… you crash.

Now imagine God is in the car too, but He’s not forcing anything. He’s just sitting there, waiting. Patiently. Offering directions when asked. But He won’t grab the wheel unless you hand it over.

Denying yourself is the moment you stop gripping the wheel with white knuckles and say:

“Alright, I’ve been trying to drive my life my way… and I keep ending up empty, tired, or lost. Jesus, You take the wheel.”

It’s surrender.

It’s trust.

It’s not giving up, it’s giving over.

 Jesus Actually Talked About This

In Luke 9:23, Jesus said:

“If anyone wants to come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me.”

He wasn’t talking about becoming religious or pretending to be perfect. He was talking about letting go of control so you can actually live.

 But Why Would I Deny Myself?

That’s the big question, right?

The truth is: we all chase stuff that doesn’t last. Pleasure, status, validation, money, control, comfort, you name it. And while none of those are bad in themselves, they make terrible gods. They promise joy but often leave us feeling more empty or anxious than before.

When Jesus says “deny yourself,” He’s not saying “you’re trash.” He’s saying:

“Stop trying to fill your soul with things that will never satisfy. Let me show you what real life looks like.”

 Real Talk: My Way Wasn’t Working

There were times in my life I thought I had it all figured out. I chased success, comfort, attention, even tried to “be good” on my own terms. But no matter what I gained, something inside me still felt… off. Like I was striving but never arriving.

And that’s when I realized:

My greatest enemy wasn’t the world around me, it was me.

My ego. My pride. My need for control. My fear. My rebellion.

Self-denial isn’t about hating yourself—it’s about getting out of your own way. It’s recognizing that maybe—just maybe—you don’t know best, and you’re finally open to letting Someone who actually made you lead the way.

 So What Does This Look Like Daily?

If you’re curious about trying this—even just in baby steps—here’s how it could look:

1. Start with honesty.

“God, if You’re real… I want to know You. But I also want to be real about my doubts, my baggage, my fears. Help me.”

2. Choose to surrender over stubbornness.

Next time you’re tempted to do what feels good, ask:

“Is this helping me grow—or just numbing something?”

3. Read Jesus’ words, not religion’s noise.

Check out Luke, John, or Matthew in the Bible. Jesus didn’t come to create “church rules.” He came to free people.

4. Notice what you’re clinging to.

Ask yourself:

“What am I afraid to let go of? Is that thing giving me life, or draining it?”

 Final Thought: You Were Made for More

I’m not better than you. I still wrestle with control and ego all the time. Denying myself isn’t a one-time thing, it’s a daily thing. And I don’t always get it right.

But I can tell you this:

When I let go, even a little—God shows up in ways I can’t explain. Peace replaces anxiety. Purpose replaces confusion. Love replaces shame.

That’s what Jesus offers when He says: “Follow Me.”

Not a boring, rule-filled life… but a full, meaningful one.

 TL;DR (Too Long; Didn’t Read):

• Denying yourself means letting go of control, pride, and selfish desires to follow something better—Jesus.
• It’s not about becoming religious, it’s about becoming free.
• You’re not giving up your life… you’re trading it in for a better one.

If you’ve made it this far, thank you for reading. You don’t have to believe everything I do, but if this stirred something in you, even a little, I dare you to whisper:

“God, if You’re real… show me what it means to follow You.”

I believe He will.