“I’ve Tried Before, Why Would This Time Be Different?”

A devotional for the ones who keep walking away

Let me be honest with you.

I’ve tried this before too.

I’ve had moments where I genuinely wanted to follow God. I was all in. I’d feel hopeful, even passionate, and then life hit. Or I got distracted. Or I got tired of fighting the same inner battles.

And before I knew it, I was drifting again.

Falling short.

Walking away.

Telling myself, “What’s the point? I’m just going to mess it up again.”

If that sounds like you… I just want you to know you’re not alone in that cycle.

The Pattern That Feels Like a Mirror

For a long time, I believed this lie:

“If I keep failing at this, I must not be the kind of person God wants.”

But that’s not how God works.

That’s how we work. That’s how people treat each other.

But God doesn’t ghost us when we slip. He’s not keeping score of how many times you’ve tried and failed. He’s not looking at your past and saying, “I told you so.”

He’s saying,

“I know. Come back anyway.”

Analogy: The Tool You Keep Dropping

It’s like holding a fragile tool, maybe something valuable, delicate, something you want to handle with care—but you keep dropping it.

Eventually, you start thinking,

“Maybe I’m just not meant to hold this.”

But what if the tool wasn’t meant to be held by your strength in the first place?

What if God already knew you’d drop it—and still chose you to carry it anyway?

 This Hit Me Hard

“If we are faithless, He remains faithful, for He cannot deny Himself.”

2 Timothy 2:13

That verse really got me.

Even when I walk away—He stays.

Even when I lose faith—He doesn’t.

That kind of love is hard to understand, especially when you’ve been conditioned to believe love is something you earn. But God isn’t like that. His love isn’t a reward for good behavior. It’s the reason we even get a chance to come back.

What If You’re Not Starting Over?

One thing I’ve had to unlearn:

I’m not “starting over” every time I come back to God.

I’m starting from here, with more honesty, more scars, and maybe even a deeper understanding of my need for Him.

That’s not weakness.

That’s growth.

Try This Today

Say this, not perfectly, but honestly:

“God, I’ve walked away more times than I can count. But I still want You. Even if I mess up again. Even if I doubt tomorrow. I’m here today. And I believe You still want me.”

That’s it. That’s faith.

Not the absence of failure. Just the decision to show up again.

Final Thought

You don’t have to prove that this time will be different.

You just have to show up today.

And if you fall again?

You get to come back tomorrow.

That’s grace.

And that’s what makes it different.